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Assholes Anonymous or AA â A 12-step program for assholes in an attempt to recover from its horrible sphincter grip into recovery. An asshole can never be cured but they can be âin recovery.â
Some never come to grips with their situation until they have suffered an assectomy
The 12 Steps of Assholes Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over our assholiness - that our lives had become unmanageable
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to non-asshole living.
3. Made a decision to turn our asshole desires and asshole habits over to the care of God as we understood God
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our own personal asshole.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our being an asshole.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of being an asshole.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our assholes.
8. Made a list of all persons the asshole in us had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or other assholes
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were being an asshole, promptly admitted it
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will to free us from our assholes and the power to carry that out
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other assholes, and to practice these principles in all our affairs
From an AA (Assholes Anonymous) meeting:
Mike: "My name is Mike and I am an asshole. I was born an asshole and have been an asshole, sometimes in denial all of my life."
Group: "Hi, Mike!"
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Snopesed (verb), Snopsing (noun) refers to the act of questioning the origin of an email forwarded to one's inbox. There are certain red flags leading to the recipient initiating a Snopsing. Some are the words "Send this to everyone you know!" the attribution of clever statements or shibboleths to well known people or celebrities, often Kurt Vonnegut or George Carlin and dire warnings and predictions to cause alarm and fear in soft-hearted or gullible folk. The recipient then plugs keywords from the forward into www.snopes.com to reveal basic fallacies and/or half-truths inherent in the message.
My husband forwarded me "George Carlin's Rules for 2007," but I Snopesed it and found out it wasn't from 2006 and it was really coined by Bill Mahler.
My cousin sent me an email suggesting I visit a particular website where every hit will supposedly cause Bill Gates to contribute a dollar to the the Society for Six-toed Sephardic Semites or some other worthy cause, but a Snopsing revealed it to be totally false.
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(droplifted) In addition to leaving merchandise in a store, droplifing may also involve coupons that the dropee does not need or want, discreetly left near the item affected by the coupon. It is extremely bad form to leave expired coupons but it's OK to leave coupons that expire the date they are droplifted. This form of droplifting is generally a female activity but not exclusively so.
A very polite and appreciated practice common in the Upper South i.e. southern Ohio and Indiana, West Virginia and Kentucky. It's more commonly done at stores that offer double coupon redemption such as Kroger and Meijer than stores that don't such as Walmart.
When a store has a super-double coupons redemption day or week, it is even more practiced.
"I got my deodorant for free at Kroger because it was on sale, they had super-double coupons, plus someone droplifted the right dollar-off coupon on the display!"
"I had more toothpaste coupons than I could use, so I droplifted them before they expired."
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Some grocery stores such as Kroger and Meijer offer super-double coupon redemption from time to time. This is when a manufacturer's coupon may be redeemed for two times the face value but generally not more than a two dollar total.
"I had five dollar off coupons and it was super-double coupons day at Kroger so I was able to get five tubes of toothpaste for free."
A sound that one makes in response to a particularly bitchy or catty comment by another. Similar to "Meow," as in, "Meow to you, too!" It's a comment that Scarlett O'Hara. Suzanne Sugarbaker or a Betty Cavanna character would make. Or a comment that someone would make to the aforementioned. It's a feminine "touche" - Wrawl!
Suzanne: Who's heading up the debutantes' reunion this year?
Julia: Caroline is doing it again.
Suzanne: I don't understand why Caroline is always organizing these things. She wasn't even popular and the only reason she was a Deb was because of her Great-Aunt Ruby.
Julia: Wrawl!
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Cardbordeaux is wine that is packaged in a collapsable (usually plastic) bladder with a tap inside a cardboard box. Sneered on by oenophiles but happily consumed by those such as middle-class housewives who were beer-drinkers in college. And possible Boone's Farm drinkers in high school. But it's not as sweet.
A favorite of Sara Wiggum, mother of Ralph and wife of Chief Wiggum on The Simpsons.
Cardbordeaux is generally inexpensive compared to bottled wine, but more expensive varieties are coming out as its popularity increases.
"You look like my Mommy after her box of wine," said Ralph Wiggum thinking of his mother's Cardbordeaux.
From the blog of Mary Tsao of Northern California:
"A sad sight: This mommy tipping the box of wine to get the last of it out. When did the box of wine replace the keg, people? I'm officially old."
Mostly consumed by white folks. I notice it's rarely available in markets dominated by African Americans.
Popular brands are Franzia, Peter Vella and Almaden. Reportedly the most popular variety (according to Papa Joe's Discount Liquors in Richmond, Indiana) is Franzia Sunset Blush.
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An unfortunate experience following the usage of Alli, the Orlistat weight loss capsules that cause a . . . slickening of the contents of the bowels. An Alli-oop is what happens when a user of Alli doesn't answer the call of nature immediately.
That three-hour lecture would have killed me alone, but when I got that urge to "go," it gave me the excuse to head to the restroom for a very necessary visit. I almost suffered an Alli-oop anyway!
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