Chumpstin von der cock

used to describe mentally retarded goons who rely heavily on NHS opticians. also suffer from bouts of depression resulting in violent outbursts. Usually loners with few or no friends.

Justin: Do you like my new glasses?
Paul: Haha, no! You look like Chumpstin von der cock!
Justin: Fuck you!! I'm gonna beat you like I beat my mum!
Kiran: Was that before or after I boned her?
Dave: You did too??
Paul: I'd get a check up if I were you lads, I fucked that slut and I've got aids now!!
Dave: Why do I have no mates?
AJ: What you all talking about guys?
All: FUCK OFF AJ YOU CUNT!!!

10👍 3👎

GAYJOHN NO MATES

A socially inept person who finds it hard to make friends due to his lack of interesting conversation. Favourite topics for a gayjohn no mates are ms-dos, economic trends and boys. He may become useful as an antidote to insomnia.

"Oi lads, check out that fit blond!"

"Don't be crude...now, come look at this!! I just downloaded the complete ftse 100 for my new apple mac! It only takes up 50megabytes of ram on my hard drive AND it comes free with a daniel craig screensaver! I love it when he comes out the water!"

"(YAWN!!) You're such a gayjohn no mates! NOW FUCK OFF AND GET SOME MATES!!!"

5👍 9👎