Blandjob

The act of getting a blowjob while recieving a handjob at the same time is known as a blandjob...but dont let the name fool you... blandjobs are without a doubt the best part of blowjob week

Steven: so u get laid last night?
Martyn: nah dude, its blowjob week.
Steven: ouch!
Martyn: yo stfu bitch! My ho gave (referring to his cock) Iron Man a blandjob.....now that takes co-ordination.
Steven: wtf's a blandjob?
Martyn: (sighs)fuckin idiot.

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Wanking Claw

A deformed hand, caused by a near endless amount of masturbation. All that wanking causes the subjects hand to shape into a claw-like entity that forms perfectly around penis shaped objects.

John: Eh Wayne, you holdin' an invisible water bottle?
Wayne: Nay John, thats my wanking claw.
John: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thats knarly gross!
Wayne: Aye, I was up till 8 this morning tryin to pitch one off.
John: Yikes.... well from the looks of that claw you've got one awful small wee-wee.
Wayne: (sighs)Aye... well I'm off to the loo.
John: To do what?
Wayne: (holding claw) What do you think?

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