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A very strange YouTube channel that uploads tech videos literally every day, 24/7 non-stop. Most of the videos are repetitive and deal with the same theme, such as "{insert old phone here} in {insert current year here}, still worth buying?"
Does a mix of both iPhone and Android videos, but has an obvious Apple bias (he literally called the Pixel 4 an iPhone once). No one knows for sure what drives him to upload such a large volume of videos non-stop, all we know is that he loves us.
Typical videos from Simple Alpaca:
-iOS 16 on iPhone 8!
-iOS 16 on iPhone X!
-iOS 16 on iPhone XR!
-iOS 16 on iPhone XS!
-iOS 16 on iPhone XS Max!
-iOS 16 on iPhone 11!
-iOS 16 on iPhone 11 Pro!
-iOS 16 on iPhone 11 Pro Max!
-iOS 16 on iPhone 12!
-iPhone 5 in 2022! Still Worth Buying?
-iPhone 5S in 2022! Still Worth Buying?
-iPhone 6 in 2022! Still Worth Buying?
-iPhone 6 Plus in 2022! Still Worth Buying?
-iPhone 6S in 2022! Still Worth Buying?
-iPhone 6S Plus in 2022! Still Worth Buying?
-iPhone 7 in 2022! Still Worth Buying?
(you get the idea)
Me: *looks at Simple Alpaca's upload history*
Also me: Damn this mans is such a hustler
A universal sentiment spoken by every single man and boy in the world (in every language possible).
English: Fuck, my balls itch!
Spanish: ¡Joder, me pican las bolas!
French: Putain, mes boules me démangent !
Italian: Cazzo, mi prudono le palle!
Latin: Fute, pilae meae prurigine!
German: Scheiße, meine Eier jucken!
Dutch: Verdomme, mijn ballen jeuken!
Afrikaans: Fok, my balle jeuk!
Finnish: Vittu, palloni kutittaa!
Swedish: fan, mina bollar kliar!
Russian: Бля, у меня яйца чешутся!
Slovak: Do riti, svrbia ma gule!
Bulgarian: По дяволите, сърбят ме топките!
Turkish: Kahretsin, taşaklarım kaşınıyor!
Armenian: Ջի՛մ, գնդիկներս քոր են գալիս:
Hebrew: לעזאזל, הביצים שלי מגרדות!
Greek: Γάμα, οι μπάλες μου φαγούρα!
Arabic: اللعنة ، الكرات بلدي حكة!
Korean: 젠장, 내 볼이 가렵다!
Chinese: 操，我的蛋蛋好痒！
Japanese: クソ、私のボールがかゆい！
Vietmese: Mẹ kiếp, quả bóng của tôi ngứa!
Indonesian: Persetan, bolaku gatal!
Sanskrit: चोदतु, मम कन्दुकाः कण्डूयन्ते!
Hindi: भाड़ में जाओ, मेरी गेंदों में खुजली!
Mongolian: Новш, миний бөмбөг загатнаж байна!
Igbo: Chei, bọọlụ m na-egbu mgbu!
Urdu: بھاڑ میں جاؤ، میری گیندوں کو کھجلی!
Hawaiian: Fuck, ʻeha koʻu mau pōpō!
Tamiol: ஃபக், என் பந்துகள் அரிப்பு!
Yiddish: פאַק, מיינע באָלץ קריצן!
Another name for schizophrenia.
"So I was on the bus yesterday and this random lady kept interrogating me, telling me that I was 'sus'. She said that I was the imposter and how I've been faking all my tasks. I called the bus driver and fucking got off the bus immediately. Crazy SOB."
"Dang, sounds like among us in real life."
Me: plays a sus chord
Red: IT'S HIM, HE'S THE IMPOSTER!
An infinitesimally small penis. It is even smaller than a picopenis, let alone a nanopenis. It's so small that not even a magnifying glass is enough to see it. The only possible way to view a femtopenis is through an electron microscope.
It's a commonly accepted fact that Putin has a femtopenis.
Basically every definition on Urban Dictionary that never got approved.
The fact that this is an unpopular opinion means that you'll probably never have the chance to read this.
Something that already existed beautifully in Persona 5 but Mark Zuckerberg wants to destroy this beautiful concept with stupid NFTs and gimmicky VR games. If you actually wanna experience the metaverse, go play persona 5. This ain't it chief.
Guy 1: Are you excited about the metaverse?
Guy 2: Metaverse as in from persona 5?
Guy 1: No I'm talking about Zuck's newest creation after rebranding FB to meta, you didn't hear?
Guy 2: Nope
Guy 1: Really? It's literally all over the news
Guy 2: Huh.
Guy 1: It would be crazy if they could port persona 5 over to the metaverse
Guy 2: I guess you could say that's very meta
Guy 1: Stop......