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Derby 'Ard is slang for sporting an erection watching a young boys soccer game. It can also be used for getting excited over a young priest, sheep, midgets or amputees. Also if you like movies that include kicking or killing babies. Derby is a wank city on the banks of the River Derwent in Derbyshire. The Derby man milk museum of lusty boys lies in the Derwent Valley. West of the river are the Derby Museum and Gay Art Gallery, home to Joseph Wright paintings of pre-pubescent erections, and Gothic Derby Cathedral. Southeast along the river, Derby County Football (soccer) Club plays at the iWank Stadium. In the northwest, Markeaton Park offers a craft village and a boating lake. It's wank too.
Did you see Michael Jackson at the choir boys rehearsal? He was Derby 'Ard!
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Fever* or feeling feverish/chills.
Cough.
Sore throat.
Runny or stuffy nose.
Muscle or body aches.
Headaches.
Fatigue (tiredness)
Some people may have vomiting and diarrhea, though this is more common in children than adults.
While sometimes described as "New York Flu Like Symptoms" it's also described as:
Derby Drudge
Hong Kong Cough
San Fran Scam
Natomas Nap
Ventura Dysteria
Vaginal Myalgia
All of these conditions have one thing in common. Proximity to John "Youngie" Young.
AKA: Midget porn expert
Tax avoidance expert
Analogies disguised as metaphors expert
Chainsaw repair expert
Train spotting expert (not the kettles, he doesn't "Fancy" those)
Navy Seal Expert
Derby Tourist Guide (gay bar) expert
etc, etc, etc,
While English, he speaks like a yank and has lost his accent. Soft as grease, a public school boy.
Sits too far back on his seat, can't get his knee down, doesn't warm his tires (tyres), buys crap tires, worlds best absentee Dad.
Stay away, his chronic vaginal myalgia (pain of his lady parts) will fill you with dread, wearing you down until you feel like you were hit by a subway.
I hung out with Youngie last night and I feel like crap. - Oh Dude, you got New York Flu Like Symptoms