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New Politics

Another name for "Old Politics" used by a Israeli celebrity called Yair Lapid who is a lousy boxer, a lousy columnist and a lousy liar, who, due to good looks, tight black shirts, lots of hair gel, popularity with women and a rich father, got lots of votes and turned into a lousy Politician (and possibly a Prime Minister in the future) in some small Banana republic in the east.

Yair Lapid: "I'm bringing you New Politics"
Fact: "Brings the oldest Politics in the book"

Yair Lapid: "I never smoked pot in my life. Pot is dangerous, and it is illegal"
Fact: "Pot is not dangerous, and Yair Lapid himself was selling pot"

Yair Lapid: "I will not raise the Taxes for the middle class"
Fact: "Brings up taxes for the low and middle class"

Yair Lapid: "The natural gas belong to the citizens and should not be sold abroad only for tycoons interest"
Fact: "Push into selling the natural gas"

Ishton (a well known blogger) to Yair Lapid: "You came to politics, just like methane from cow droppings come into the atmosphere and you have pretty much the same effect on this world."

by Matans June 11, 2013

147πŸ‘ 34πŸ‘Ž


Piano Bar

A small pub/piano bar in Tel Aviv (I will not state the street address, because you really don't wanna go there).
The place also organizes a Chess tournament between the inhabitants, and the winner (who score most points over a period of few month) is supposed to get a bottle of Jameson at the end of the period.

Sivan: Congratulations! I heard you won the Chess tournament at the Piano Bar :)
Matan: Thanks love :) I didn't get the whiskey though...
Sivan: You're gotta kidding me, You we're a regular there! This is so Yair Lapid like...
Matan: I'm afraid not. The annoying thing is I spend double the price on drinks in the process of winning it.
Sivan: Well, they lost me as a customer!

by Matans June 19, 2013

43πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Yesh Atid

In Hebrew: "יש Γ—Β’Γ—Βͺיד" (There's a future) - A Political movement of Yuppies led by Yair Lapid who developed the system of New Politics (Which stands for "old politics" with Hair Gel, and awareness to fact that black make you look thin).

Protestors: There's NO future in Lapids way.

Yair Lapid: "Yesh Atid is the Defensive Shield for the Israeli middle class".

Yair Lapid: "I don't know sh!t about Economy" (interviuing Minister of Finance Benjamin Netanyahu 2003).

Yair Lapid: "Give me 20 mandats and the next Tax raise will not happen" (Gets ellected as Minister of Finance and 1st thing he does is raise taxes).

Yair Lapid: "Raising taxes is our red line, and we won't let it happen! Yesh Atid is the Israeli middle class party. We will not allow this abuse of the productive citizens who served in the army, learned a trade, work, and carry the economy wagon on their backs. We are here to change!" (in "Calcalist" conference, 25.Dec.2012).

Yair Lapid: "Taxes have been raised again today. Netanyahu government continues to run over the middle class and leaves it in an intolerable state". (a Facebook status from 1.Jan.2013).

Yair Lapid: "We will not allow another tax raise for the middle class. it is forbidden" (in an interview to channel 1, two weeks before the elections which took place in 22.Jan.2013).

by Matans June 17, 2013

48πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Shmucking Wet

Getting caught in the rain, being soaking wet, and feeling like a shmuck for not watching the weather forecast and dressing up accordingly

Matan: Why are you so late?
Dikla: Sorry Mat, I wasn't paying attention to the time, and got shmucking Wet riding my bike in the rain.
Matan: Oh, I thought you were going for a swim with your clothes on
Dikla: Now that's just too funny you shmuck

by Matans February 25, 2010

75πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


Efrat

a generic name for an overworked, oversexed, edgy, extremely creative Ritalin bitch.

guy 1: you going over to Efrat mate?
guy 2: yeah mate, she's told to be the best in the market ain't she
guy 1: Careful ol' chap. She can eat you alive.

by Matans May 23, 2011

73πŸ‘ 22πŸ‘Ž


Yair Lapid

A generic name for a celebrity who is a lousy boxer, a lousy columnist and a lousy liar, who, due to good looks, tight black shirts, lots of hair gel, popularity with women and a rich father, turns into a lousy Politician, and possibly a Prime Minister in some small Banana republic in the south.

Yair Lapid: "I never smoked pot in my life. Pot is dangerous, and it is illegal"
Fact: "Pot is not dangerous, and Yair Lapid himself was selling pot"

Yair Lapid: "I will not raise the Taxes for the middle class"
Fact: "Brings up taxes for the low and middle class"

Yair Lapid: "The natural gas belong to the citizens and should not be sold abroad only for tycoons interest"
Fact: "Push into selling the natural gas"

Ishton (a well known blogger) to Yair Lapid: "You came to politics, just like methane from cow droppings come into the atmosphere and you have pretty much the same effect on this world."

by Matans June 11, 2013

61πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Dikla

Hebrew: Γ—Β“Γ–ΒΌΓ–Β΄Γ—Β§Γ–Β°Γ—ΒœΓ–ΒΈΓ—Β” - (palm tree) probably the sweetest girl you will ever meet. Dikla is a known figure, smart, beautiful & sexy and popular among guys and girls too. Dikla is an excellent kisser, great in bed and divine in giving head.

guy 1: are you coming over tonight mate? I've got an excellent bottle of scotch whiskey, some good cocaine, and a bunch of college girls are coming for an orgy later on.
guy 2: sorry mate, but I think I'll pass. I'm gonna just stay home tonight and have sex with Dikla.
guy 1: damn, you're one lucky bastard!

by Matans February 22, 2010

79πŸ‘ 11πŸ‘Ž