Jack Bauer Shower

Improvising personal hygiene solutions when not having the time or means to take a real shower. For a true Jack Bauer Shower, one has to use Lysol antibacterial wipes on one's nether regions. The pain means it's working.

Dude1:"Dude, you stink like shit dipped in vinegar and your interview is in 10 minutes!!!"
Dude2: "Time for a Jack Bauer Shower!!"


Reporter: "You've been lost in the woods for 2 weeks! How did you stay so fresh?!"
Jack Bauer: "I'm Jack Bauer."

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watch that turns into a hamster

Something very advanced, technologically or otherwise, but completely useless.

A concept or idea that, while 105% awesome, has no real world applications whatsoever.

James Bond: "Hey Q, I've got all these gadgets left I didn't fucking use! This watch, you push a button, turns into a hamster. What was the point of that? And the jam trousers, was that your idea? Fucking useless!"

John: "I've just put up a website that takes your picture and shows you what you'd look like covered in bird poop!"
Jane: "Awesome! And about as useful as a watch that turns into a hamster"

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Peace Prize Surprise

Getting some unexpected but very welcome recognition or windfall.

Winning something awesome, against the odds.

President Obama never saw that Nobel Peace Prize coming. Surprise!

I woke up this morning to a Peace Prize surprise: hot, naked booty! Thanks, beer!

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