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divorce

This is what happens when the woman realizes that she can't completely change the man she married and thus needs someone new, fresh, and exciting. She knows that he has done nothing wrong and has tried very hard to be a good husband, so she will be very conflicted until she finds another man in which to confide her deepest desires. This new man will give her the confidence she needs to ditch her husband. "All you want is to be happy," the new man will say. This is a successful play by the new man to get into her panties.

Lovesick and out-of-character behavior may ensue by the man in his incredible frustration. Fortunately for the wife, the system is stacked completely in her favor. Half of his savings go to her. She gets a protective order when he tells her what a bitch she is being. Her friends and family move in to protect her from her supposedly vindictive and psychotic ex-husband. The cheating is shrugged off as an afterthought. All is well in her world.

Raquel: You haven't done anything wrong, but I want a divorce. I found someone all new and shiny. Also, I'd like half of your savings.
David: How could you do this to me? *starts to cry* I deserve better. I was a good husband.
Raquel: Your feelings aren't my concern anymore. We're getting a divorce, remember? By the way, I feel so incredibly loved by the new man it's almost surreal.
David: Fuck you, you ice cold little bitch!
Raquel: That's it, I'm taking a restraining order out on you.
After the restraining order is taken out, David begins to have nightmares. Raquel moves in with her new man and lives happily ever after.

by Matthew West April 23, 2006

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