Baby Eater

This is a general person who has a fond desire to devour not only the flesh, but also the souls of small infants. There are many ways in which you can do this.

1.The first way is to find some one known as a "noob." This person will be a useful asset in order to draw the soul out of the delicious baby. So the "noob" will quickly gallop in circles like a horse around the baby spraying noobsauce on the baby, around the baby, and through the baby. After the baby is thoroughly covered in a thick layer of noobsauce, the baby should have start crying. This is now when you come into it. You quickly use an action figure of "Master Chief" to cheer up the baby. At this time the baby's soul will be at its most vulnerable time. When the baby starts laughing, this is when you grab him by the head and quickly slide him down your throat. If all of this has been done correctly, the baby's soul should now be trapped within your loins ready to be put into use anytime you need it.

2. This new way requires you to get the baby into an extreme state of joy. To do this you may want to take him to a live performance of Barney or the Teletubies. Once you can tell on the joyometer that was implanted into the back of the infant's skull that he has come to an extreme state of joy, you will be able to carefully extract the soul of the child. To do this you will need to put on heat resistant gloves and grab the baby. After this you must continue to vigorously shake the baby. You will continue shaking until you see the baby's eyes roll back into his head and a white gaseous form will escape through his mouth. You now take out your butterfly net and trap the white form in it not allowing it to touch your skin, for this white form is now at its most lethal state. Once all this has been done, you can now carefully devour the white form which is the baby's soul.

BABY EATER!!!

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