Random
Source Code

Department of Clipboards

An alternative collective noun for a shuffle of bureaucrats, specifically those with some sort of auditing task. Inspired by their flocking behaviour and use of clipboards as a work tool. Derogatory.

"Better sort out those paperclips, Bob; the Department of Clipboards is just getting out of the lift."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 6, 2012


constipatience

To become resigned to the fact that you won't be able to defecate until your colon decides it's ready to.

Patient: "I took the laxatives you gave me but I still haven't been able to go to the toilet."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 16, 2013


woman

Female. Instead of being used as a noun (A woman with red hair) it has become and adjective, used as "lady" once was (A lady doctor).

Julia Gillard is Australia's first woman Prime Minister.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 19, 2011

44πŸ‘ 61πŸ‘Ž


Clipboard of Power

A derogatory term for the petty bureaucrat's badge of office. It is held close to the chest and carries papers with information that is jealously guarded. It allows access to sensitive areas and gives the bearer authority to pry into the work being done by others. Often used for micromanagement and the application of "bureaucracy gone mad".

Line up your pencils everyone! Here comes Snottynose Snivelson with his Clipboard of Power.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 6, 2012

3πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Orphan's Christmas

A standard Christmas celebration held by people who aren't able to be with their birth families because they are overseas or have a difficult relationship with their family.

Often used by people who have been disowned by their parents, such as homosexuals who have escaped their conservative, small-town upbringing and moved to the more open-minded city.

"Tell everyone there's an Orphan's Christmas at mine this year. Bring a plate and the booze is on me!"

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 25, 2011

8πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Go

Become.

A change from the active to the passive.

Dinosaurs went extinct millions of years ago." instead of "Dinosaurs became extinct millions of years ago.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! June 10, 2011


The Deep North

The northern latitudes of Australia. States in the Deep North are generally poorer, hotter, more humid, more conservative, and more prone to cyclones than its more poleward cousins. In the USA, this would be called the Deep South.

A: "I can't believe my fellow Queenslanders voted against gay marriage."
B: "That's what you get when you live in the Deep North."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! September 13, 2013