Harlem Shake

Something else on the internet which gets trended on Twitter by 100 million chronic imbeciles and which I purposely avoid out of a seething contempt.

The wretched and unlettered; Ahh, there's a new viral/meme/craze on the internet. They're calling it the Harlem Shake.

The enlightened: I'm too busy reading Aeschylus, you gimp.

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Bognor Regis

A town on the south coast of England that is slowly succumbing to a tide of destitution and urban decay, which is unsual for a town of Bognor's size and location.

Visitors can try drinking in the Wetherspoons before being stabbed, get a celtic band or tribal at the various tattoo parlours, sample processed ham from the discount stores and even try their luck at a bingo hall and job centre.

You can test your local knowledge at a pub quiz on the sea front, where teams of pub employees join in to answer questions about their own pub, and you can witness first hand the summer spectacular of northerners beating up the red coats at Butlins then fighting with eastern europeans over the stuffed macaque they won in the Doner meat-eating contest.

There are retail parks featuring Matalan, Burger King and skulking coal-eyed chavs who only speak in vowels, and some lovely cashpoints at which to have your card cloned, or ripped from your hands by the feral children of a chain-smoking, morbidly obese Jabba with a wispy moustache.
You may also find yourself disorientated by a sudden burst of slavic languages from everyone around you, but this is a reflection of Bognor's multicultural diversity of poor white English and poor white Polish.

Bognor became famous for an appearance in the last episode of Wish You Were Here, in which Judith Chalmers was stalked by a family of Wendigo-people then dismembered and devoured. It was only ever aired on UKTV Gold.

Geoffrey Palmer: I once won an episode of Catchphrase, and Roy Walker gave me the choice of Bognor Regis or Chernobyl, which was still glowing at the time.

Christopher Timothy: I assume you went with Bognor?

Geoffrey Palmer: Only after I was absolutely convinced Chernobyl was utterly irradiated and swimming with mutants. As it turned out, Bognor wasn't quite as irradiated, but had a higher mutant count. Swings and roundabouts.

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manterrupting

Another clumsy and childish portmanteau word invented by feminists who are too lazy to actually change society for the better in any meaningful way.

Feminist: Excuse me, but I don't like people manterrupting me.
Human: I 'm sorry, but I thought you were just doing an impression of an electrocuted cat.

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Normie

An adult with a job, family, friends and who indulges hobbies in a healthy manner.
May even live in their own house or apartment and drive a car, rather than living with their parents into their 30s and 40s and relying on public transport to get around, usually to a Yu-G-Oh touurnament or Doctor Who/Harry Potter/Weeb convention.
Usually reads books without drawings and speech bubbles, often about the real world.
Takes moderate exercise outdoors and has natural hair colour if under 40. Wears clothes without edgy slogans because they don't really want to get unwanted attention.
Knows how to prepare a meal because they've lived alone and realises it's part of being self sufficient. Can perform simple car maintenance and DIY rather than phoning up relatives or more useful friends in tears. Knows people who work across different trades and professions and whose social circle isn't limited to one group of socially inept, penniless dorks.
If male, then he can lift heavy things and runs. If female, she bathes. Doesn't worry about putting pronouns in their bio.
Doesn't really use social media.

'He is such a normie!'
'You mean he has a job, a house, a family reads books about science and history can lift heavy things fix up the house, and doesn't live on junk-food?'

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hipster emo

effectively a scene kid from the mid noughties

Dave; So what is it?
Dr Parenthesis: I think it's likely to be a hybrid creature - a chimaera - part hipster, part emo - a scenester in all but name.. a hipster emo
Dave: How about hipstemo?
Dr Parenthesis: No, too close to epistemology.

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Short Arse

Not quite midgets, not just short, but arrestingly diminutive (5' -5'5''). alternatively funny/ pathetic when confronted with a tall girl (above 5'8'') in a bar or club.

Frequenters of chain pubs and bars in provinical and coastal city centres.

Sindy: Hey, Babs, look at that little bloke with the popped collar chatting up your sister.

Barbie : he's having trouble looking her in the eye. wait, they're coming over.

Sindy: Don't stand up or you'll make him feel like a right Short Arse.

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Slut-stink

The pleasantly fishy emanations from the vulva of a well-endowed blonde slut in heat that cause olfactory delight and the involuntary twitching of the bishop's eyebrows.

'Barnabus, a most appetising fish course wafts through from the pantry. May I enquire as to what fruit of the sea we might feast upon this evening?'

'There's no fish course, it's just my playful niece Lucy's slut-stink. Most invigorating. More wine, Tristian?'

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