emo baby

a small child dressed like an emo because their property-obsessed, zinfandel-drinking, Espace-driving, D+G hunting parents think it's cute, and besides, Bethany and Aloysius have brought their child the same miniature reproductions of the designer tat most depressing..ive teens buy, but at forty times the price.

'oh do tell me where little Ozymandis got the Gerard Way 'do'
'i had to have Al Opecia do it. a snip at £260'
'i'll send my little ones there too. he looks quite the emo baby!'
'you know Jocasta, they might even start cutting themselves!'
'YA! YA! *snort*'

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Hipster

One subjected to the corporate, postmodern reheating of the beat culture, following in the footsteps of subcultures such as punk in the reappropriation of earlier cultural artifacts to create a sense of identity and meaning in the neoliberal post-cold war era. It is embraced by a relatively small cross-section of broadly liberal, bourgeois and metropolitain young people, because this group is the advertising industry's target demographic for items of conspicuous consumption. The hipster labours under the illusion of vitality, agency and difference, when all the subculture can aspire to is another iteration of post-industrial, postmodern consumer culture, and one exceedingly more open to co-option, repackaging and branding than punk or hip hop because of a political passivity, and the disposable income of its largely middle-class advocates.
What defines the hipster seems to be merely material, but also pathological introspection and self-consciousness, perhaps amplified by the fragmentation of society in a free market, and the rise of the self-centred 'apsiration' culture of the noughties; one that hipsters often think themselves very much apart from, but very much engage in.

Overall, it is a youth culture borne lifestyle choice rather than any meaningful social struggle and is, with every lenseless spec frame, every thread of distressed denim and bottlecap of Pabst, irrevocably part of what it so petulantly but naively dismisses as mainstream culture.

Anton; Hey, why do hipsters think they're independently-minded and breaking new artistic ground when they look the same and like the same stuff, usually indie music?
Chekov: Yes, their much vaunted cultural awareness creates such a sweet sense of schadenfreude in educated people. The hipster is blissfully unaware that his subculture is very much part of the wider cultural spasm of consumer capitalism expressing itself, and borrows heavily from previous subcultures. His jejune posturing is almost as endearing as that of schoolyard Marxists.

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Hipster

The American and more widespread strain of what was once known as the 'Shoreditch/Hoxton Twat', The 'London Wanker', the Scenester, the Trendy, The Trustafarian, The Urban Hippy, The Dickhead.

Immortalised by the comedy series 'Nathan Barley' and satirical song 'Being A Dickhead's Cool'.

They suffer the Dunning-Kruger effect as they think they're enlightened because they only socialise with sycophantic idiots with exactly the same 'centre-left' opinions on everything, braying and spluttering, and who work in the same industries (if they have ever worked) but are are too stupid to realise how unenlightened and unlettered they are.

Hipster: Yah my favourite book is , like Catcher in the Rye? It really sopeaks to my soul about how everyone is such a phoney.
Adult; What a fucking hipster.

EMO CUNTS

The slang used by those older people who have actually lived, since become inebriated, and have located some surly, pretentious and unfathomably stupid bourgeois sprogs on the way home.

Emo 1; i have to live without seeing Pashmina for a fortnight. i may very well kill myself'.
Emo 2: my heart breaks for you my epicene friend.
twenty-something drunk who has to work in the morning; shut the fuck up you snivelling Emo cunts!!

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Dense Breast

The unfortunate condition of the female breast prior to mastectomy.

Human 1: I have a dense breast
Human 2: you may want a mastectomy

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pukka

Pukka. it means the real mcCoy, genuine, echt, the real deal, bona fide, original.

'that thing about pukka being chinese slang for bitches was a load of shite'

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