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snodgepocker (snodj pock er) NOUN. An annoying but endearing creature. Or is it endearing but annoying? Either way, you want to smack them, but can't because they are too Goddamned cute.
Like the cutest, fluffiest little kitten who keeps climbing up your legs and back with his needle-sharp claws to sit on your shoulder and purr.
Her- "How did he get stuck inside the piano?"
Him- "How? He's a hedgehog, that's what they do, look for dark places to curl up and sleep. And take a crap."
Her- "HE CRAPPED INSIDE MY PIANO!?"
(He pulls him out of the piano).
Him- "Sorry about that. Yeah, in't he a cute little snodgepocker?"
Her- "Ohhh... look at that little nosie!"
Him- "So... should we keep him, or call the Humane Society?"
Her- "He's making little piggy noises! We can't just give him away!"
Him- "So, what do you want to name him?"
Her- "Fluffy. Either Fluffy, or Shithead."
Him- "Welcome to the family, Shithead."
Her- "Can I hold him?"
Him- "Get your own damn hedgehog."
(she stands, staring.)
Him- "Shouldn't you be cleaning the shit out of your piano?"
Her- "I changed my mind about his name. I think he's more of a Fluffy."
Him- "Fluffy it is. Welcome to the family, Fluffy."
Her- "From now on, YOU'RE the one I'm calling Shithead."
Him- "There you go, sweet talkin' me again."
Her- "Just hand over the goddam hedgehog, Shithead."
Him- "OK. Here. Careful."
(He puts the hedgehog in her hands).
Her- "OW! Ow! What the fuck?! I am bleeding! You little fucker!"
Him- "The spines are sharp."
Her- "Ja think!?"
Him- "I told you to be careful."
Her- "He's grunting! What does that mean?"
Him- "It means he's hungry. I'll get him some food."
Her- "Oh, no you're not. I'M getting Fluffy's food. Aren't I , Fluffy? Fluffy says yes."
Him- "I'm coming along."
Her- "No, Fluffy says that Mr. Shithead should stay here to clean Fluffy's crap out of my piano. Doesn't he? Yesss he does."
Him- (grumbling) "Fucking hedgehog always takes her side."
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Pukeland (piook land) NOUN. Any horrible place, full of awful people.
Which one of you puke-faced pukes from Pukeland ate my fucking pizza and drank all my beer?!
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splorp, (splorp) NOUN. A wet, gurgling noise, like a cow defecating.
Yossarian pulls off the bombardier's flack jacket, and 'splorp,' out spill his liver, kidneys and intestines.
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immunofascist (im yu no fash ist) NOUN. A person who supports forced vaccination, to boost drug company profits.
The Nov. 19, 2007 Natural News reports Maryland children have been forcibly vaccinated in the presence of armed guards and attack dogs to prevent protest. Maryland Stateâs Attorney Glenn Ivey warned parents to comply with the mandatory vaccinations,
âUnexplained absences by your child (from the vaccination clinic) may subject you to a criminal charge.â
Coincidentally, Merck Pharmaceuticals, along with Bristol-Meyers Squibb, Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories and dozens of other drug makers are all located in New Jersey. Now THAT'S an immunofascist state.
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Scambodia (skam bo dee uh) NOUN. Any place famous for its con men and hustlers, where everybody is trying to cheat you and nobody is honest.
Yeah, I been to New York.
You'll be shocked to find Manhattan is a big machine designed to take money out of your pockets. Only place I ever saw a drive-by stabbing. Cops didn't even want to talk to the witnesses. Too busy taking bribes, I guess.
The girl I went with worked for Robert, a conman who grifted kids going to Europe out of their ticket money. When they tried to make him give it back, he'd have them arrested. Real sweet guy. And he's still in business, 20 years later. I wonder who he's paying off.
They oughta rename it Scambodia.
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spumptious (spump shus) ADJECTIVE. To be sexy and delicious. From âscrumptiousâ and âpump.â
Randy- Damn, that girl gots more curves than Indy 500.
Ron- She's a great fuck, too.
Randy- How would you know?
Ron- I dated her. That's Lisa.
Randy- Damn. I'd like to bite her on the ass and be dragged to death. Why'd you ever break up with a woman that hot?
Ron- I musta lost my mind. Sweetest lady I ever knew. She is spumptious.
Randy- Think she'd go out with me?
Ron- Not a chance.
Randy- Why?
Ron- 'Cuz you're a friend of mine.
Randy- Not anymore we're not, you asshole! Hey! Lisa! Wait up!
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inheritocracy (in hair it ok ra see) NOUN. A political system in which the power is inherited, along with large sums of money and property.
Ever notice how the same few families have always been in charge of everything, worldwide? And how they're all related to each other in some big incestuous clusterfuck? That's an inheritocracy. They get so inbred, we wind up with sadistic war criminals like George Bush. That's the bad news. The good news is, we still have guillotines.
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