Random
Source Code
Random
Halfgonistan (haf gon iss tan) NOUN. A country or place which has been half destroyed by war. From âhalf goneâ and âAfghanistan.â
Dude, I lived in Richmond for a year, right across from the oil refinery that kept leaking poison gas. I saw junkies shooting up in my driveway, the landlord test-fired stolen guns in his living room and every Saturday night, automatic weapons fire. "BRAAAP BRAAAP!" "POP-POP-POP-POP!" "BOOM!" There was burned patch on our roof from a fucking Molotov Cocktail. It was like living in Halfgonistan.
6👍 1👎
Pukeland (piook land) NOUN. Any horrible place, full of awful people.
Which one of you puke-faced pukes from Pukeland ate my fucking pizza and drank all my beer?!
6👍 1👎
splorp, (splorp) NOUN. A wet, gurgling noise, like a cow defecating.
Yossarian pulls off the bombardier's flack jacket, and 'splorp,' out spill his liver, kidneys and intestines.
3👍 12👎
science fucktion (sy ents fuk shun) NOUN. A genre of writing that describes advanced technologies and explicit sex acts, usually with aliens, monsters, robots or heavily modified humans.
My favorite science fucktion story is "Transvestite Robot Hookers from Mars." I think it was based on The Bible.
12👍 4👎
snodgepocker (snodj pock er) NOUN. An annoying but endearing creature. Or is it endearing but annoying? Either way, you want to smack them, but can't because they are too Goddamned cute.
Like the cutest, fluffiest little kitten who keeps climbing up your legs and back with his needle-sharp claws to sit on your shoulder and purr.
Her- "How did he get stuck inside the piano?"
Him- "How? He's a hedgehog, that's what they do, look for dark places to curl up and sleep. And take a crap."
Her- "HE CRAPPED INSIDE MY PIANO!?"
(He pulls him out of the piano).
Him- "Sorry about that. Yeah, in't he a cute little snodgepocker?"
Her- "Ohhh... look at that little nosie!"
Him- "So... should we keep him, or call the Humane Society?"
Her- "He's making little piggy noises! We can't just give him away!"
Him- "So, what do you want to name him?"
Her- "Fluffy. Either Fluffy, or Shithead."
Him- "Welcome to the family, Shithead."
Her- "Can I hold him?"
Him- "Get your own damn hedgehog."
(she stands, staring.)
Him- "Shouldn't you be cleaning the shit out of your piano?"
Her- "I changed my mind about his name. I think he's more of a Fluffy."
Him- "Fluffy it is. Welcome to the family, Fluffy."
Her- "From now on, YOU'RE the one I'm calling Shithead."
Him- "There you go, sweet talkin' me again."
Her- "Just hand over the goddam hedgehog, Shithead."
Him- "OK. Here. Careful."
(He puts the hedgehog in her hands).
Her- "OW! Ow! What the fuck?! I am bleeding! You little fucker!"
Him- "The spines are sharp."
Her- "Ja think!?"
Him- "I told you to be careful."
Her- "He's grunting! What does that mean?"
Him- "It means he's hungry. I'll get him some food."
Her- "Oh, no you're not. I'M getting Fluffy's food. Aren't I , Fluffy? Fluffy says yes."
Him- "I'm coming along."
Her- "No, Fluffy says that Mr. Shithead should stay here to clean Fluffy's crap out of my piano. Doesn't he? Yesss he does."
Him- (grumbling) "Fucking hedgehog always takes her side."
11👍 1👎
Slambodia (slam bo dee uh) NOUN. A place or state of utter humiliation and defeat.
âI sent his ignorant ass to Slambodia to read up on what happens to dumbasses who mess with me.â
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bimbologist (bim baw lo gist) NOUN. A person who studies stupid women.
John is a total bimbologist, he gets more pussy than the SPCA. But they're all morons.
11👍 3👎