swum the tiber

Slang meaning, "converted to Roman Catholicism." The Tiber being a river that runs through Rome and thus "swimming" over to the Vatican side.

Guy#1: I've never seen you before, Are you new to this Church?

Guy#2: Yes, I've just recently swum the Tiber.

Guy#1: Oh, congrats, what were you before?

Guy#2: Anglican.

ass-chat

When a person (especially a customer) stands behind you, asking questions, while you're bent over doing a task.

Customer (seeks someone bent over): "Excuse me, where are your kids books? Oh, wait, do you work here?"

Bookseller #1: *Gets up* "They are right over there."

Bookseller #1 to Bookseller #2: "Why did she ass-chat me instead of waiting until I got up, or just ask you?"

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