galaxy minstrel

A measure of how many chocolate confections one can secrete under one's foreskin without causing either a) extreme pain; or b) flesh to tear. An average is three. The maximum is six.

Beginners should start with Tic-tacs before moving onto M&Ms. Shoving a bag of Galaxy Minstrels up your foreskin is advanced stuff.

And remember to perform your stretches first.

I was admiring my physique in Asda when I noticed a patch of blood on the front of my lycra shorts. My foreskin had only gone and ripped again hadn't it?

6👍 7👎

riding the vespa

When a dwarf is standing giving you oral relief and you grab hold of their pretty, blonde pigtails and ride them hard. Not dissimilar to riding a vespa scooter, except with dwarf teeth clamped on your parts.

I'll be with you in a minute. I'm just on the vinegar strokes riding this vespa.

11👍 18👎