March 14th

The male equivalent to Valentine's Day (February 14th), Steak n' Blowjob Day. Steak n' Blowjob Day relates to couples participating in the consumption of steak (mainly medium rare) and the female giving the male a blowjob for a minimum of 6 minutes (traditional countdown from mesoamerican holiday).

Bary: "Hey Martha! It's March 14th!"
Martha: "Bary you're a sick fuck, I'm getting a divorce"
Bary: *unzips pants furiously* "Get to suckin'!"

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The Retardum Theory

A theory that states that anyone acting retarded while not having any mental health issues will later in life become retarded due to the brain being tricked by a person's actions that itself is afflicted with such condition. This effect has no known way of reverting to before it took place, but it is believed that concentrated doses of Flinstone Vitamin Gummies (specifically 1995 production doses) improves their affect.

Will: "Durr!! HURRRRRRR!"

Grace: "Hill stop acting like a fucking retard, haven't you heard of The Retardum Theory?"

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The reverse shittening

When you have a extremely shitty day, only to have something miraculous happen to you. Only to be retaliated with more shitty events the next day with no reward for survival.

Oh damnit, it’s The Reverse Shittening