zopiclone

a fucking class sleeping tablet (classed as a NONbenzodiazepine tranquilliser), sometimes sold under the name 'imovane'. The effects are like Vallium/Diazepam, but with stronger and with Amnesia so you don't have a fucking clue what you've been doing. A bit like the date rape drug. Probably overprescribed just like most benzodiazepines. Simple get-out claus so doctors dont have to fuss with therapy

Man 1: Dude, the doctor prescribed me 7.5mg tabs of zopiclone.

Man 2: awesomee.. lets both take 3 at once.

Result: Both men end up inebriated on a park bench and forget who they are.

52👍 9👎

ESA

ESA = Employment and support allowance

A 'benefit' provided by jobcentre/dss/dwp in the UK (like JSA).

replaces incapacity benefit/income support for the sick & disabled.

some people on ESA, like JSA will be fakers and scroungers with 'bad backs', 'general pain' and 'incurable depression' because all these things are difficult to disprove.

most ESA money will go back into the british economy and money anyway as tax on fags and alcohol is high.. so benefit fraud problems are seriously over-rated

hopefully it wont fuel the drugs trade.

there goes dave, he's been on sickness benefit for years, he's got 'depression' and a 'bad back'.. oh look, he has a new car! that car was paid for by DLA motability!

i went to my ESA medical today and had to pretend to be suffering from cancer

signing on is for mugs.. claim ESA and you dont have to go down to jobcentre, and you get more money. just make up some illness.

what about hypochondria-munchausens-malingeritis syndrome?

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Airport

When a girls landing strip is too long and joins up with the hair underneath her belly button

"Dude, that was no landing strip, it was a full on airport"

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Ronson

brand of british lighter gas

real good shit for getting high..

tip: use the longest lighter adapter that comes in the lid to make it easier to do.

nb: this does not advocate the human consumption of lighter gas for the purposes of getting totally fucked

Can I have a bottle of your cheapest cider, 20 Mayfair and 3 cans of Ronson please?

What's best for solvent abuse? Ronson or Perma?

Can't go wrong with a bit of Ronson

Ronsoning up

9👍 7👎