bucket-toucher

An individual who is contagiously and toxically lame; a straight man who is, like, totally gay.

Melissa: "I know a guy who once burned a hole in my purse, watched me fall down the stairs on several occasions, nearly allowed me to slip into a narcotic-induced coma and always makes me take the bus to see him."

Nick: "Clearly, this fellow is a bucket-toucher."

Melissa: "I know, right?"

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