American

An American is a person residing in America. America is the most powerful country in the world and the best place to live.

America is like the cool person everyone talks shit about, but kisses ass for approval when confronted. Everyone in the world is curious about what is happening in America. While America isn't too concerned for what the other countries are doing.

Other countries freak out. Americans are just chill. We go with the flow. Some of us are fat and stupid. The fatness is because the shit that is put in our processed food. The stupid is well... people are just stupid in general, but that is everywhere.

Americans don't like the news unless a black guy got killed by a cop, gay people are marching for gayness, someone switched genders, or some celebrity did something stupid. Kim Kardashian contributes more to our society than... yeah... can't think of anyone famous doing something in the US.

There are some downside to Americans. We like to make everything a race issue even when it isn't. We Americans try not to offend people by saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. We are obsessed with gun laws even though it isn't that big of a deal.

Americans are a cool people. We are a melting pot and would love for you to come over if you are a foreigner. We love illegal immigrants. We also love free speech, that is of course, if it doesn't offend anybody.
We love food, friends and family, money, life, and probably you too.

Go Merica!

Foreigner 1: That one guy, hes the champion from that one country that usually wins gold medals in the Olympics.
Foreigner 2: Dude, that is America! He is an American. Don't you watch the news? We are obsessed with America. We even check up on their weather.
Foreigner 1: Oh yeah. Duh. Just had a brain fart there. Of course I know what America is.
Foreigner 3: What is America?
(Foreigner 1 and 2 stare in disbelief)
Foreigner 3: Hey, don't look at me. I'm too busy feeding my oxen to give a shit.

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