kilju

Finnish traditional drink, which could be described strong homemade brew. The most simple method of making this sweet nectar requires only frosen orange juice, water and some sugar. The best and most popular version requires water, sugar, yeast and fresh juice for flavour. Kilju hits you like a sledgehammer, and soon you will forget your name and ability to speak. Next morning your shit smells like a just baked bread, because of the yeast. True mothafuckas use about 50% juice, and only orange juice in kilju. Wussy-ass Finnish goverment has banned the production of kilju.

I drank kilju yesterday with some friends. When I woke up I didn't remember anything, not even where I was. And there was so much yeast in my shit that I could have been able to found a bakery. There was also some blood in my shit, so it was an ordinary night out with kilju.

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parkyyr

in the 12th century mythology is known ultimate creatures which combined vampirism and movements very similar to nowadays parkour. East-European folklores refers to this specie with many names: parkyurious(Hungary), itsera perse(Turkey), vatihiki pyyri(Romania), ribulkyoria jatta(Russia). Some German monks gathered this information and called these myth creatures parkyyriouses (lat. metadeus fampirism supremus). Parkyyr is the name of the unholy klan of these creatures. Parkyyriouses were said to have unnatural fast movements, ability to turn invicible, neck which allows 360 degree head-turning and they also had gigantic feet and very hairy chests. Leader of the klan was a Greek ex-soldier and a vampire named Antonio. Antonio summoned dragons which ate babies and shat curses. Parkyyr klan tortured men and raped women and animals. A single peasant, named Pef was ambushed by parkyyr, and Pef's genitals and left arm was cut off. Pef survived and formed a

militia, which killed nearly all parkyyriouses. It is said, that Antonio's son, Pikku-Antton wasn't killed in the war and he continued to carry on the bloodline. During the Cold War Islam fundamentalists believed that Pikku-Anton would appear shortly after millenium and fight against Allah, destroying most of Europe. Some religious cults in south America still consider Pikku-Antton as a enbodyment of devil.

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nu shiesty

Or “So Shiesty”, the renaissance gangster himself.

On my way to heaven, I saw Nu Shiesty’s realm and I almost thought about going there instead.