skitters

The equivalent of pissing shit out of your anus. For the everyday yuppie, it is more commonly known as diarrhea. For those who prefer more spice in their everyday chit-chat, it is known as the Hershey Squirts.

--Can be caused by consuming large amounts of fresh fruit or fruit juice.

Q: Why would fresh fruit cause the skitters?

A: Well, the juices found in fresh fruit contain sorbitol, which is a nondigestible kind of sugar. Large amounts of this sorbitol cause the body to attempt to dilute the sugar by bringing water from the bloodstream into the intestine. This causes your fecal matter to be more liquid in substance and form, which is in turn why one hears an interesting squishy noise when one accidently sharts. This is pretty much the reason prune juice is so flippin' awesome!

It is suggested that one's everyday diet does NOT NOT (uh-oh, a double negative) NOT (*fixed) consist entirely of fresh fruit or fruit juice.

I 'et too menny peaches and now I've got teh skitters!

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