Jewser

Noun: A Jewish loser. Used when loser is not strong enough, or when real offence is saught.

Often represented by raising the left hand to the forehead, extending the forefinger vertically whilst tucking the other fingers down, and bending the thumb slightly upwards to produce a "J"

"Wow, you're such a Jewser"

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carney

An insulting term for a pikey person, when gypsy is not strong enough, but they do not warrant the full blown Pitsea

"Stop eating that stuff from the bin, you dirty carney"

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Basvagas

Noun: Descriptive nickname of the Festival Leisure Park in Basildon, Essex. A hang-out for chavs and skank whores on a Friday and Saturday night.

"Oi, u goin daan BasVagas tonite?"

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boswash

The general term for any group of Eastern Europeans who will wash your car in a Tesco's car park for a fiver.

"Wow, my car's dirty. I can't be arsed to clean it myself, I'll go and get a boswash"

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Markotics

Noun: A mind-altering substance with soporific effects, excessive consumption of which can lead to Markisons Disease and/or Markolepsy.

"Hey man, you should really lay off the Markotics"

colostrophe

Noun: The catastrophic failure of a colostomy bag

Informal: An embarrassing event or occurrence

"I woke up after the stag next to my sister and wearing her thong. What a colostrophe!"

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Markinsons Disease

Noun: A disease similar to Parkinsons, named after Mark G, from Westcliff in Essex. The disease is characterised by boughts of idiocy; an inability to focus; clumsiness; things breaking from the other side of the room; not knowing when it's your turn in Risk. Potentially fatal if not treated.

Often found in combination with Markolepsy after consumption of Markotics

"Mark!!! Mark!!! It's your turn, fool. Go and sort your Markinsons Disease out!"

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