walking spanish

Ambulatory locomotion of the recipient of the bum's rush, involuntarily emulating a Flamenco dancer by dint of being simultaneously propelled forward and elevated at the seat of one's pants with one hand, and the scruff of one's neck with another. The expression recalls the supposed "custom of pirates, in the Spanish Main, of forcing prisoners wo walk while holding them by the neck so that their toes barely touched the deck." (Robert L. Chapman)

...and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
-- Monty Python's Flying Circus

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S.W.I.S.S.

Salesmen's motivational acronym for "Sell What's In Stock, Stupid".

Boards bearing the logo S.W.I.S.S. can be found in the back rooms of Verizon stores across the U.S.A.

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shart

Anal counterpart to a French kiss.

Monsieur Raggou: Who can see my shart? Here be my doublet come close, my coat come over all dat, den who de devil see my shart? For vat sall me have a shart, when nobody see my shart?
--John Lacy, The Old Troop, before 1665

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Fertiloser

A chronic loser with an extra short life expectancy.

Hamas is breeding generations of fertilosers to enrich the soil of Palestine.

C.T.D.

A medical acronym for "Circling The Drain", referring to a patient who is expected to die soon.

That P.P.P.P.P.T. is C.T.D.

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plook

To engage in nonorthogenital forms of sexual penetration lending themselves to consecutive reciprocity between partners.

JOE:
This is exciting
I never plooked
A tiny chrome-plated machine
That looks like a magical pig
With marital aids stuck all over it
Such as yourself before
SY BORG:
You'll love it!
Its a way of life.
JOE:
Does that mean maybe later
You'll plook me....
Frank Zappa, Joe's Garage

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lit-critter

A term of disparagement applied to a literary critic, implying the character traits of an overeducated shithead. Usually tarred with the postmodern brush as "pomo lit-critter".

"Dang! We are beset by lit-critters! Let loose toxic sarcasm!"

"Bill Clinton did his turn as a pomo lit-critter by testifying on the ambiguity of the word 'is'."

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