Catch 29

Like a Catch 22 but worse.

I'm in a Catch 29 situation.

You mean a Catch 22?

No, it's worse than that.

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You wouldn't buy a hooker just to kick her

A phrase used when somebody is abusing something that they own/have access to. Usually something that they have paid good money for.

Guy 1: "My laptop isn't working again."

Guy 2: "Stop filling it with crap, then. You wouldn't buy a hooker just to kick her, would you."

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Tell him where to go

Euphemism. If you tell somebody where to go, you basically tell them to fuck off.

Person 1: That guy won't stop yelling at me. He really annoys me,

Person 2: Tell him where to go, then.



Person 1: You can't barter with these people. If you ask for a lower price, they'll tell you where to go.

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half moon kiss

When your girlfriend (or boyfriend if you swing that way) stops mid way through giving you a blowjob to kiss you on the lips.

A full moon kiss would be when they kiss you on the lips, after they have given the blowjob.

The former is arguably preferable.

Guy 1: "Dude, Alice is so good at giving head. She even stopped half way through and gave me a half moon kiss!"

Guy 2: "Nice!"

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rights

Used in the North East of England, in place of the phrase: "damn right!"

1. Person A: Want a beer?

Person B: Aye, rights I do!!

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Character Assassination

Character Assassination is the act of attempting to influence the portrayal or reputation of a particular person, causing others to develop an extremely negative perception of him/her. By its nature, it involves deliberate exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person.

Basically, it is spreading rumours and talking bad about somebody, to make people hate them.

1. I'm just another victim of Character Assassination.

2. The media and politicians are Character Assassins.

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The Romans

The Roman Empire was very powerful, especially in AD 117, when they controlled most of Europe. The emperor was Julius Caesar. (I think there were more, but I can't be bothered to list all of them.) They were very civilised, at the time, and apparently knew how to keep order.

1. Brian - "Bloody Romans"

2. Reg - "Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

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