twoday

an expression used when asking time off from work to cover yourself for two days, not today, because you are going to get so wasted, you'll be straddling the fence.

Worker : hey boss, can i have off twoday?

Boss: do you mean today?

did you spill some dumbass on yourself

Worker: no twoday because i'm gonna get so wasted, i'll need two days to cover me.

13👍 5👎

Flawesome

flawless and awesome = Flawesome

Did you just see that chick?
totally flawesome.

Did you just see that boneless frontside grind?
flawesome!!!

17👍 15👎

Tardspace

what Myspace has become, retarded.

tardspace is ghey now, no wonder everyone is on Facebook.

stepped in a puddle of dumbass

an expression used to define a dumb or retarded action.

that boy is so stupid he must have stepped in a puddle of dumbass before he came to work.

4👍 4👎

space biscuits

some of the most potent Lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD)
on the black market.

this shit will send you

straddling the fence to the spirit world status in the blink of an eye.

what's wrong with Prox?

i think he ate too many space biscuits, homie is so fucked up he is stitching quilts with Tommy Chong.

15👍 2👎

Kryptonite

a lethal mix of viagra and cocaine used by men during devious sexual acts for the purpose of trying to escape a mid-life crisis post tramatic limp syndrome and usually end up dying, shaming their families for life.

did you hear what happened to John this weekend?
he died in a motel 6 from using kryptonite on a water buffalo .

27👍 39👎

Kenneth Parnell

a very clever pedophile manuever used to lure kids into a sketch pad.

usually using Atari games, Now & Later's, various hello kitty items, and lots of Lazy Town footage.

dude i'm not buying my weed over at that sketch pad anymore.

why not?

because my dealer totally Kenneth Parnell's the Smut Pedallers in the hood into his sketch pad and it creeps me out.

5👍 2👎