investibation

/in ves ti ba' shun/ n. (Portmanteau of "investigation" and "masturbation") An investigation with no hope of actually providing any answers, often to a question or case where the answer is already known, but not provable.

O.J. Simpson did not so much conduct an actual search for the "real killers" of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman as he did an <i>investibation</i>.

President George W. Bush ordered an immediate <i>investibation</i> into the Valerie Plame leak, mainly to shut the public up.

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squeak toy

n. A person, esp. female, esp. young, whose most salient (and often only positive) feature is sexual attractiveness.

Trish Stratus started out her wrestling career as a complete squeak toy, but now she can actually hit some high spots. She still looks like one, though.

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boinktoy

n.

1. Anyone for whom sexual attractiveness is their strong suit, particularly if it is their only positive attribute. Similar to a squeak toy, but perhaps not as pleasant to be around afterward.

2. Possessively, one's significant other, particularly (and especially out of earshot, of course) if that person is a friend with benefits/fuckbuddy/etc.

1. Did you see that girl? She's a total boinktoy.

2. Yeah, smart guy. My boinktoy. Eyes off.

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Science Fuction

A story that just happens to have a science fiction premise, but is produced because some network, studio, or publishing hotshot thinks it will sell to middle America, not because it's any good.

"Mansquito" and the other SyFy original movies, like "Mr. Ed," are less science fiction than science fuction.

infake

Any simulated air intake on a vehicle, especially that consisting of tacky black plastic trim that fools precisely nobody.

Check out the infakes on the Dodge Avenger. 3/4 of the grille is even fake, right from the factory.