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You really should come on this golf trip, man, it's gonna be memorabelic!
When you're masturbating and you climax into the left eye of the reciever and yell "SQUAAA!"
My girlfriend walked in on me jerkin' it last night. I bet she wasn't expecting me to be mid-fap, and turn it into a wetty fap!
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When someone is so scared of a splashdown, while taking a shit, that they try to time the pinch of the turd in question and immediately stand up, all with the purpose of gaining as much distance from the surface of the toilet water as possible. But they stand early...they're left straight legged when gravity takes over and the turd begins it's descent. The height where the turd falls from us just shy of waist high.
I felt the cooling embrace of the toilet water, drenching the back of my thighs after I stood up too soon and dropped a just shy of waist high.