noising me up

When someone, usually a stranger approaches you and engages you in one-way conversation.

The perpetrator believes that a perfectly reasonable discussion is taking place, however The content of the conversation is typically of little interest to the subject.

"I was standing by the bar and this guy came over and started noising me up about a load of rubbish.... he was cleary shitfaced"

"While I was handing out flyers outside the club a man came over and started noising me up about how House music is rubbish and started Mcing in my ear".

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Playing pool with a piece of rope

When you are trying to have sex with a girl but are far too drunk to get a full hard on or even a three quarter.

Man A: How did you get on with that girl last night?

Man B: To be honest mate I was so lashed it was like playing pool with a piece of rope.

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