Lake Oswego

A pseudo-yuppie conservative wanna-be elite village which tries to isolate itself from the rest of the world by inflating "market value" and priding itself for having very few black people. There is a small majority of folks that look frighteningly pale with blue eyes and blond hair. In fact it is not surprising to see large families dressed exactly the same, with the same blank stare on their faces.

The biggest issue facing Lake Oswego at the moment is the building of a tram which will make it easier for the middle class and other undesirables to freely move in and out of the city. And that convenience is feared will lead to some one making less than 50K a year to find a place to live there, which will mean raising the already falsely inflated "market value" that the city is so famous for.

The city is also known for its bizarre, unwritten driving laws and its citizens sense of entitlement.

Lake Oswego is the perfect place to observe the absurd. You are guaranteed a hilarious time people watching there. Just go into the Starbucks at the Safeway on A Street and you can experience the worst of the so-called "upper classes" whilst enjoying a mocha.

Lake Oswego is proof that money does not necessarily mean "class."

When four people approach a 4-way stop intersection, the person that gets to go first is the person that drives the most expensive car.

If you have had botox recently, drivers are encouraged to have the rear-view mirror pointing at their faces, rather than the traffic behind them. This way they can see if there is any movement of their paralyzed faces at all.

And do not be alarmed when you see aforementioned botoxed old men trying to pick up young girls at the High School in their Hummers or Austin Martins: Orange, is a perfectly normal skin color in Lake Oswego.

107👍 74👎