Valentin

The ''Valentinus bigpenus'' usually just called Valentin was discovered and researched on by a random old scientist. They are a member of the Hominina tribe (or human tribe), a branch of the tribe Hominini belonging to the family of great apes.

The first Valentin was discovered in a cave in 69 BC. The latest fossils were found in a cave next to a computer of a fat guy. The Valentin caves usually held lots of female human skeletons with their genitalia parts cracked. Scientists said that those skeletons were once beautiful human women, until the Valentins lured them into his cave. Scientists say that they lure other females in with their enormous penises.

The remains of 99% of the skeletons were usually paralyzed from the neck down. The Valentin specie is near extinction with only 6 and a half alive. They reproduce with humans and sometimes asexually by using binary fission (basically cloning). But they prefer to reproduce sexually. The Valentins reproduce sexually with women only because they are a very straight specie. They are characterized with their large penises, their height, black hair and chiseled abs. They are practically immortal as the oldest one is 6 billion years old. They have many things about them that includes the attributes of omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), divine simplicity, and as having an eternal and necessary existence.

Person 1: Hey, I saw valentin watching me in the shower today. He was flying his horse then he saw me and blessed me with this dildo
Person 2: Valentins dont exist what are you talking abou-
:Valentin erases person 2 from existence:
Person 1: He deserved it anyways..

37👍 7👎