kippris

An unusually large human-like ape from the sausage-smoker monkey family, originating from the deep black forests of Soviet Siberia.

The Kipprises are lonely creatures who usually live in packs of one, and procreate by masturbating into electrolyte-infused bottled water, and drinking the mixed concoction while eating Cabanos, or sadomizing helpless victims of debilitating scooter accidents.

After giving birth to their babies, Kipprises abandon their babies and will leave them to fend for themselves.

Kipprises are very expressive and use their social abilities to capture the attention of other ape species, but will usually lose interest after that attention is acquired and will return to their cave, where they like to use their oversized fingers to anally arouse themselves.

“You can lock a Kippris in the zoo, but you can’t make it stop masturbating and eating Shawarma. These creatures are just too wild”

Asperger

A psycho-physical disturbance whose main symptom is your girlfriend being a dumb bitch.

Look at his stupid ass girlfriend behaving like a dumb cunt. He must have Asperger.