Random
Source Code

You’re doin’ it wrong

Four simple words, similar in usage to the phrase, “That’s what she said,” but with an opposite meaning. It is used to point out the unrealised sexual innuendo in a previously innocent statement.

The term was derived from pointing out the sexual abnormalities of a friend’s sex life. When the person shared information the repeated advice was, “You’re doin’ it wrong.”

When a man is eating a banana, he should never look another man in the eye or comment on the size or quality of the banana.

What if you’ve snapped the banana in half?

Fuck dude, you’re doin’ it WRONG!

by Miss Tessmacher November 29, 2010

6👍 4👎


Thighbum

n. (thahybuhm)
Lack of definition between the bottom and thigh. The appearance of bottom and thigh merging into one shapeless mass. Typically this condition is most noticeable when the subject wears jeans.

Dude she's hot!
Not from behind. She's got a thighbum.
Oh my god - it's like two straws connected to her back.
----- ----- -----
Does my bum look good in these jeans?
No sweetie. It's like two pancakes vacuum-packed in denim.
Not my thighbum!!

by Miss Tessmacher October 7, 2010


Anchovy

When two people cannot decide on the attractiveness of a third - usually when one person finds them hot and the other not. Much like the divisive reaction to finding anchovies on your pizza.

(Guy One) Dude she's hot!
(Guy Two) Fuck no, I've scraped better looking crap off my shoes.
(Together) ANCHOVY!

by Miss Tessmacher October 7, 2010

15👍 18👎


Bendy knee

n (ben dee nee)
The ungainly gait adopted when a person wears heels that are too high for them. The person is unable to straighten their front leg as they put their weight onto it because the ball of the foot makes contact with the ground before the heel does. This results in the person looking as though they're walking through a freshly ploughed field.

Shirley: Check out the bendy knee on her.

Sloane: Sweet Jesus Shirley, that slut might have $500 shoes but she sure as shit can't walk in them.

by Miss Tessmacher October 7, 2010

8👍 2👎


Affirmation

The acknowledgement of a colleague's job well done. It was first invented by Enda McKenna in 1947 in his magnum opus on "Motivation of Female Staff in the Male Dominated Workplace". Its purpose was to recognise the added value brought to the business world by women after the Second World War; such as round-the-clock provision of biscuits, coffee and sexual favours. More recently, affirmations have become a desired method of motivation by both sexes. Traditionally, affirmation is delivered by a firm, open-handed pat to the posterior. However, there are many variations; such as the "Snap-To" where a short, sharp delivery results in surprise, awe and a warm after glow. Softer versions are the "Double" and "Triple" pats where two or three affirmations are delivered in quick succession to confirm the high level of performance currently being delivered. The third and rarely used version is the "Spank and Linger". This is when the affirmation is singular but contact is maintained, conveying the message of a job well done, worthy of additional "rewards".

Winston: Did you see that annual report that Miss Wells drew up?
Charles: Yes... jolly good for a woman. Perhaps an affirmation is deserved?
Winston: Excellent idea, a Spank and Linger I think.
Charles: Here she comes now.
*spank*... linger
Miss Wells: Oooh!
Winston: Good report. See me after work!

by Miss Tessmacher November 2, 2010

34👍 22👎