Uptown funk

A funky sex move when a boy chokes you in a party bus then quickly spins you around as he’s about to rail you under the disco lights

“DUDEEE Jessica agreed to doing the uptown funk with me!”

<3

Absolutely nothing but a symbol and a letter your not cute nor quirky JeSsIcA

“Hehehe I’m so quirkyy<3”

Shart

When your sick, cold, and sitting on your grandmas new white couch when suddenly you let out a twisted ripper fart.. you roll off the couch and scoot on your ass over to the bathroom leaving a forbidden chocolate stain behind you

“So.. Gramma I accidentally sharted on your new white couch. Please forgive me, Sincerely, Jessica”

Monstrous gurgle

When your brushing your teeth when all of the sudden you choke on the toothpaste and you gurgle it in your throat and it slowly builds up and you foam out the mouth as if you had rabies

“Yo this morning I had a monstrous gurgle”

Cream puff

When you poke a hole in a cream puff while shoving it in your girls vagina then pound her in the ass while the cream runs down her thighs

“Mmm I really wanna cream puff Jessica right now”

1👍 3👎

Blue balled Bell

When your teacher runs out of the class room doing the little dinky hold run so you go over to the staff room and hear the vice principal moan super loudly and you hear your teacher say “UGH SORRY BBG I HAVE…BLUE BALLS 😔”

“HAHAHAHAHAH JESSICA OUR NEW NAME FOR MR. BELL IS BLUE BALLED BELL!!”

Your mom

The irresponsible lady who had sex one too many times then got pregnant with your ugly ass just to grow you in her fat stomach so she could push you out her pussy only to spend money to feed and look after you. What a waste of sperm and 9 months. Especially if you were born in 2010 or born a Scorpio

“Guess what”
“What”
“Your mom”