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binge washing

When sanitizer, soap, water, more sanitizer and more soap become addictive. Compulsive hand-washing

She'd started with 'Happy Birthday' as she scrubbed, but now found herself singing 'Stairway to Heaven', the extended concert version, guitar solos and all, unable to control her binge washing.

by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2020


temporary sanity

The notion of temporary sanity argues that a defendant was sane during the commission of a crime, but later reverted to their insanity after the criminal act was carried out. This legal defense is often used to defend individuals who have committed highly reasonable, completely normal crimes of passion which any sane person could have committed and probably would have done, given opportunity, means and motive.

My client is too crazy to have ever committed the crime with which he has been charged. He can't tell a gun from a Pez dispenser. But for one fleeting moment he wasn't himself, okay? He fell under the grip of temporary sanity and took out the most corrupt politician this country has ever know. Look at him now, wearing his MAGA hat in court. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, he is very clearly insane.

by Monkey's Dad March 7, 2020

3👍 1👎


What happened to you?

A stunningly inappropriate and thoughtless question often blurted toward a handicapped person, the only proper answer to which is "Don't ask".

"What happened to you?" asked the seemingly civilized man of the woman who was struggling mightily to take each halting step. Yet she needed no reminder of how hard it was to move, or of how many years she had been in pain. She was under no obligation to answer the moronic stranger, who in any event seemed to want no answer and quickly began prattling about his skiing accident, years ago, which he believed would be fascinating to a woman with a permanent handicap, but, please... don't ask.

by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2023


2020 dayjob

The non-existent work a suddenly-unemployed waiter or waitress looks for, to make ends meet in the coronavirus economy.

An actress by training, a waitress by profession, she quickly needed to find a 2020 dayjob, with the whole world staying home. It wasn't going to be easy.

by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020


Zentriloquism

A deeper level of ventriloquism, in which the Zentriloquist, without a sound, makes a dummy think thoughts he would not normally think.

Vern was not the brightest bulb in the drawer, that was for durned sure, yet for no reason he suddenly thought, "I am one with everything". Then he noticed the guy with the shaved head, wearing saffron robes, sitting across from him, staring into his eyes and smirking gently. Just might be that Zentriloquism he'd heard about. Then, "I am free from all desire".

by Monkey's Dad December 9, 2023


Zentriloquism

A deeper level of ventriloquism, in which the Zentriloquist, without a sound, makes a dummy have thoughts he would not normally think.

Vern was not the brightest bulb in the drawer, that was for durned sure, yet for no reason he suddenly thought, "I am one with everything". He noticed the guy with the shaved head, wearing saffron robes, sitting across from him, staring into his eyes and smirking gently. Just might be that Zentriloquism he'd heard about. Then, "I am free from all desire".

by Monkey's Dad December 9, 2023


I'll wait here

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.

I'll wait here.

by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019

7👍 3👎