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Anti-Mask League

An organization of Americans opposed to wearing masks during the 1918 Flu Pandemic, which killed 50 million people.

"The 'Anti-Mask League' protest in San Francisco was an orderly protest compared to people fighting in Walmarts today," said Dr. Howard Markel, a medical historian and a physician who leads the Center for the History of Medicine at the University of Michigan. "Today, the anti-mask sentiment has a virulence and violence of its own that we didn't see back then."

by Monkey's Dad August 16, 2020


gymgnostic

A state of divine transcendence, reached through exercise.

His endorphins surging, what he saw in the mirror after his daily devotion to the ellipticals, free weights, rowers and treadmills lulled him into a gymgnostic state of belief in his own divinity.

by Monkey's Dad March 6, 2020

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I'll be ready in 5 minutes

The validation of Einstein's theory of relativity, in which the concept of five minutes is infinitely elastic, and feminine.

"I'll be ready in 5 minutes" she liked to say, and he knew he could relax for at least an hour.

by Monkey's Dad April 22, 2023


Like-ectomy

A surgical procedure to excise the insidiously invasive word "like" from an otherwise articulate person's vocabulary.

If she said, "I'm like", "he was like", or, "like, you know, like, kinda, like, pizza but without, like, any, like, crust" he would take her in for a like-ectomy, whether she... uh... liked it, or, like, you know, like, not.

by Monkey's Dad May 30, 2023


Covocaust Denial

The insistence, as the death-rate mounts, that the COVID-19 pandemic is a hoax.

The hysteria was ridiculous, as every right-thinking person knew. The so-called 'coronavirus' was just the ordinary flu, had so far killed a tiny handful of people and was exaggerated in a liberal attempt at impeachment part 2. Anyone who called his truth-telling Covocaust Denial was a sore loser. Ask Rush.

by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020


Noid

Clear-sighted, realistically unafraid. A condition which must exist in order for the state of being para-noid to exist.

The only one at the party who had declined the marijuana, he did not have the munchies, did not find every utterance, no matter how inane, hysterically funny, was more than ready to drive anyone and everyone home if need be, and he was suffering no delusions; absolutely no one was out to get him. While his friends' behavior was paranoid, his was, in a word - noid.

by Monkey's Dad June 7, 2021


Noid

Clear-sighted, realistically unafraid. A condition which must necessarily exist in order for the condition of being para-noid to exist.

The only one at the party who had declined the marijuana, he did not have the munchies, did not find every utterance, no matter how inane, hysterically funny, he was more than ready to drive anyone and everyone home if need be, and he was suffering no delusions; absolutely no one was out to get him. While his friends may be paranoid, he was, in a word - noid.

by Monkey's Dad June 7, 2021