to spank the monkey

to masturbate... to do the the dirty deed, in a few words to deal with your sexual needs by yourself

Guy 1: How did it go last night?
Guy 2: Not so good, so I had to spank the monkey!

12👍 5👎

Broad back

Former track runner with broad shoulders and an ass that doesn’t quit. She looks great in clothes but amazing without. She’s got a masculine physique with the sex drive of a 12 year old boy. Plus the stamina of a Russian athlete on steroids at the 84’ olympics.

“Here we see the broad back in its natural habitat. Alone at the bar ready to pounce on a weakling of the male species”
1: Bro, I can’t tell if that girl is attractive or not.
2: I don’t know man she looks like a lesbian.
1: I’m gunna go buy her a drink and find out.
*the next morning*
1: bro bro, that broad back was the best sex of my life. She rode me like no other.

2👍 8👎