Random
Source Code

splintertilla

A tortilla chip corner that breaks off in your mouth and lodges itself into your gums; a tortilla chip splinter. If left untreated, a splintertilla may migrate upward to infect grey matter and impair brain function related to sensory and motor stimulus. Or is that because of the 4 margaritas you just gulped down? Whatever. Splintertillas suck.

Oh! Noooo! I just got a splintertilla!

Hey! Slow down on those chips, pal! Do you want to get a splintertilla?

I was laid up all last week. Splintertilla. It almost killed me.

by Moonpie Feedbag June 19, 2010

1👍 3👎


Dinner Table Widow (DTW)

A person whose dining companion abruptly leaves the table mid-main-course to make a looooooong trip to the restroom, leaving you stupidly and embarrassingly alone to finish off your meal; this circumstance often requires that the dinner table widow (DTW) act as though he or she is enjoying the meal in solitude, even though he/she is in reality suffering in total humiliation on the inside, thinking, "Do people think I got ditched mid-meal??" The humiliation effect is especially exaggerated when one is on a first date. BTW, I wrote this while I was a DTW, in an attempt to look like I was totally okay with being ditched mid-meal. Damn it.

Hey: are you gonna be gone long? I don't wanna end up a dinner table widow (DTW).

Yeah, he left me there for about 30 minutes. I was a total DTW.

by Moonpie Feedbag June 19, 2010

6👍 1👎