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spanner monkey

A largely useless individual whose only career prospects are to work in maintainence departments painting walls and replacing light-bulbs. May have questionable habits such as an excess love of porn, language that would make a soldier blush and a equally useless son.

"Why can't one of those spanner monkeys come up here to fix the lights?"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

30πŸ‘ 11πŸ‘Ž


gloop

To shoot or snipe someone in the back, without their knowledge (and probably, their approval).

"I would happily shoot him if he was on the job. Gloop him!" - Rimmer to Lister, "Red Dwarf - Justice"

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

21πŸ‘ 25πŸ‘Ž


Sky News

The world's first, greatest and only 24-hour-a-day rolling news channel. Only it has commercials. And shit journalists with corporate agendas. Basically, the Western World's equivilent to Communist Chinese TV.

"And now on Sky News, there's trouble at our rival station BBC News 24. Hahaha! Serves them right. Ahem! Where was I?"

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

62πŸ‘ 18πŸ‘Ž


mumsey

To be over-protective or smoothering of another individual. A mumsey person will not stop to think how mumsey they are - indeed, they will not see how embarrassing or annoying it can be.

"Make sure you've got everything. I've put enough sandwiches in your suitcase to feed a small army and I've squeezed in two thermos flasks of coffee. Don't forget to call us when you ge back! Have you got everything..." - typical mumsey reaction when I return to London after visiting the parents in Norfolk.

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

4πŸ‘ 17πŸ‘Ž


machoegotism

A sadly incurable condition, usually occuring in young men. The sufferer of machoegotism strikes up an extraordinary relationship with himself (possibly due to excess masturbation) that results in the sufferer falling in love with themselves. They are incapable of replicating genuine feelings for others, though they attempt to hide their emotional vacuum by imitating feelings or responses.

Treatments are being developed as you read this but scientists believe a cure is some way off. For now, temporary relief may be gaining by a sniff knee to the happy sacks or by telling them, in a way that is impossible to not understand, to fuck off.

"That guy defintely suffers from machoegotism. He displays all the symptons."

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

14πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


black holes

Black holes are rarely seen creatures that operate in the shadows. If anything is left lying around or falls off a table, a black hole might (for they are decreasing in number) run past and swallow it up. The reasons for them doing so are unknown but what is odd is that some of them redeposit what they've swallowed at a different location. Not to be confused with thieving gypsy bastards.

"Has anyone seen my pen?" - typical response after a black hole feeding session.

by Mr Ben February 9, 2005

37πŸ‘ 22πŸ‘Ž


screaming viking

1. A name given to a non-existent cocktail.

2. A fat girl having an orgasm.

"I think I'll have a screaming viking too!"

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

38πŸ‘ 53πŸ‘Ž