Sponge fumbling

Accidentally sticking your fist up your arse while searching for your favourite sponge in an overly bubbled bath.

I had to throw my bath into the street after my first sponge fumbling.

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On The Rag

Refers to when someone is on a rag, or is otherwise on top of a raglike device, perhaps in order to keep his feet or her feet away from the spiders and germs that crawl around on the floor, or perhaps to provide a better view over a wall. Sometimes people get on the rag in order to change a lightbulb, or in order to reach a high light socket in order to change a broken bulb. Getting on the rag also refers to standing on a rag that is on top of another rag, perhaps in order to see over a slightly higher wall.

On the rag can also refer to brutally dismembering a prostitute.

KFC kings cross provide a bespoke footwear deep fry service. Deep fried shoes or trainers are often referred to as rag. Thus being on the rag can mean wearing deep fried footwear.

You dirty On the Rag

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Spaff Wrangling

Ensuring a cowboy's ten-gallon hat is full to the brim with manky-man-splash.

I got caught spaff wrangling, but I only got the electric chair.

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Truffling

Burying yourself in such a way that wild pigs foraging for truffles end up sucking you off

"I'd rather go truffling that sleep with that foul young ho"

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milk wrench

The product of onanism, solitary frotting, mono-genital agitation, crotch wobbling or spewm farming, once deposited into a pint of semi-skimmed milk.

"Argh! Don't drink that, it's a fucking Milk Wrench!"

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