PA

1. Personal Assistant

2. Pointless Acronym

Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?

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WANKER

1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.

2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.

I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.

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criminal

A homosexual in extreme denial, since anyone who goes to jail will definitely get raped by members of the same sex.

Incarceration and capital punishment being inadequate deterrents for persons to commit crime, the thrill of being raped is the only motive.

"Hey man, I'm a businessman, I sell dope, I sell coke, I sell phet, I sell ket. I make my money the way the streets demand."

"No, you're a criminal, and we're going to fuck you until your asshole looks like a whale's blowhole."

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Jacksons

Testicles.

From rhyming slang: Jackson Pollocks, bollocks.

My girlfriend only lets me teabag her if I've shaved my Jacksons.

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sex keyboard

A woman who maks highly questionable noises during sex, such that it sounds as if you are just pressing the sound effect buttons on a keyboard rather than pleasuring her.

*ooh-ooh-aah-aah*
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.

Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?

Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard

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sinkpiss

Pissing in the sink instead of the toilet. An act which saves water and is therefore good for the planet but enrages women purely because they can't do it due to their defective chromosomes, causing them to make ridiculous claims such as "it's disgusting" when we all know that urine is sterile as it leaves the body.

"You better not be doing a sinkpiss again!"

"I pay the water bill bitch so until you let me put a urinal in the bathroom I'm sinkpissing!"

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sex dungeon

Any form of dungeon where sexual activities occur.

At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.

The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.

Customer: "Do you sell galvanised steel chain?"

Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"

Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"

Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"

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