McFucktard

1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.

2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.

3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.

Customer: "Big Mac and fries please."

McFucktard: "Do you want fries with that?"

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Lambrover

A Lambrini hangover. A hangover resulting from excessive consumption of Lambrini.

Not to be confused with: Lamb rover.

Cherise woke up wondering where she was, still wearing the same dress from last night. She stumbled to the bathroom past her broken high heels and sat on the toilet with her head in her hands. Pulling out her Galaxy Note 10 she started to go through the pictures from last night on Facebook. This was the beginning of the mother of all Lambrovers.

fear

An emotion which, irrespective of whatever previous emotion you were feeling, instantaneously makes you feel like you are going to die, fills your entire body with adrenaline and sends your heart rate off the scale.

Fear was a very useful evolutionary advance for millions of years, keeping mankind one step ahead of predators and snakes and shit but unfortunately it still occurs in trivial situations, such as:

- when you lean back on your chair to the point it feels like it might suddenly tip over

- when you are eating food in the street and you almost drop a bit on the floor

- when you have been smoking weed with your bong buddies for a few hours and a group of very tall, charismatic people you haven't met before suddenly show up

- when your girlfriend almost discovers the stash of tranny porn you acquired years ago but completely forgot about...until right now

"Are you coming to the pub?"

"No man I got severely drunk in there last night and exposed myself to everyone. I can't face their accusing eyes until the fear goes away."

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jack

Suffix meaning "to steal", generally applied to a vehicle or situation. Originates from the word hijack but bastardised for comic effect.

Dude 1: I was gonna go for a crap but someone's running a bath.

Dude 2: You should have jacked it.

Dude 1: Bathjacking?

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pornanza

A bonanza of porn.

I've never seen so much porn in one place at one time, it's a pornanza!

Virgin Megastore

An all-girls highschool.

Dude 1: Are you coming to the canteen at lunch?

Dude 2: No I need to nip to the Virgin Megastore.

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immolate

to impersonate a mole

"There's a famous picture of a Vietrnamese monk who immolated himself in order to protest the war."

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