football

The gayest sport in all the world, even gayer than men's synchronised fisting in pink leotards to "Small Town Boy" by Bronski Beat.

An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.

So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.

"Hey man do you like football?"

"No I prefer tits to balls."

20👍 27👎

drunkover

When you drink so much that instead of waking up with a hangover, you wake up still drunk.

"Hey can you give me a lift home?"

"Sorry sweetie but I'm still drunkover from last night. Why don't you give me a blowie so I can sleep it off?"

4👍 5👎

goober

Someone who is unable to manage their finances or fertility well enough such that they have to get out of bed or "goob" in order to obtain more money or attend to their offspring, instead of lying in bed all day drinking and masturbating like a true champion.

"I have 3 kids and a large mortgage."

"You goober."

28👍 48👎

think bike

A slogan used by British road safety campaigners to try to reduce the number of motorcycle deaths caused by people riding motorcycles into cars, rather than trying to get motorcycle riders to ride more responsibly.

"I used to ride a motorbike but I had a few close calls and decided it was too dangerous. Think bike? Think maybe I'll stop being a fucktard and get a car before I end up with my handlebars through my sternum."

8👍 4👎

facefuck

To comment on someone's facebook status or post and engage them in conversation, then delete all your comments so it looks like they have been talking to themself.

Victim: I know, they rock!
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...

20👍 37👎

irish chicken

An accidental theoretical construct in the brain of someone who is not paying full attention to the conversation.

Dude 1: I was in O'Neills last night and there was this gorgeous Irish chick in there.

Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?

7👍 150👎

anal bacon

Untidy skin/flesh emanating from the ringpiece, giving it the appearance of chewed bacon. Usually as a result of overly aggressive anal sex but can equally be caused by prolapse or even be congenital.

Lord Asquith met Lady Jane at the Spring ball, and after months of wooing he finally came to court her. In time they were married and there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Alas on their wedding night he discovered she had anal bacon, rendering him impotent. He obtained an anullment later that week.

33👍 1👎