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Mostly a white, dry pussy 30-50 year old mother who drives a "5 star SUV" to protect her so called "little angels" (meaning her children). With the stench of Happy Meals in her SUV, they can be found daily, picking up their children from school, the chess club, swim team, soccer practice, etc. Soccer moms are often liberal, and bitch about everything, from violent video games to when some one burps and doesn't say "Excuse me." Soccer moms can also be found in groups, which is called an oh shit.
Soccer moms pretty much worship their local public school, by attending all PTA meetings, forcing their little children to participate in all activities, and can always be found helping out at a school dance/play/concert/etc.
They are always against a war. No matter what the circumstance is of the war, there is almost always an oh shit in front of the White House protesting. A real soccer mom in this case would be wearing a shirt that claims her son died in Iraq; however, 65% of the time they don't even have a son at all, but just want attention.
Soccer moms also protest how the US doesn't care about America's youth. On some days, there would be a group of the protesters holding signs to stop DUI. Similar to the war protest, some soccer moms wear shirts that say their daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Again, she may not even have a daughter.
When at home, a soccer mom are on the phone bitching to her other soccer mom friends, saying how their husband is so mean and doesn't care about her because he works 18 hours a day. The real reason that the husband works so much is because his wife spends his salary on a new SUV, gas money, groceries, and sends donations to organizations such at the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and the public school fund raisers. When the husband is finally home, he isntantly gets his balls ripped off by his wife because he worked all day. Just wanting to sleep, he goes to bed and the soccer mom gets all emotional because he only cares about work. Every day, she would think of how well behaved her little angels are in school. Ironically, her "little angel" is in detention at that very moment in order to feel liberated from their mother.
Also, soccer moms always flip shit when they see a video game in which anyone could be harmed in anyway. This means for her offspring that they cannot play games like Mario Kart, Super Mario, or even a hockey game because there are fights in it. In her eyes, this is how the ESRB rating system is:
Everyone: ok
E10+: E13+
T: 18
M: 21
Movies are almost the same thing. They refuse to let their child watch a movie like Finding Nemo because of the fact that the mother dies.
G: OK!
PG: Not safe
PG-13: They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a good movie.
R: *protest*
Soccer moms also are not generally smart when it comes to being offended. For example, if they are watching a Wedding Crashers and see the part with the girls on the bed, they will be enraged at the cast and bitch about how the movie is basically a porn movie. But instead of turning off the movie, they keep watching it anyway and get more insulted.
Rinaldi burped aloud in the gym, vausing it to echo. He was then given a 10 minute lecture from a soccer mom on how he needs some manners. Being the dumb shit he is, he calls her a bitch. This resorted in a school conference about profanity in the schools.
66π 35π
A penis that is wider than it is long. Usually found on over weight Italians such as a kid named Rinaldi.
Rinaldi has a chode that is 1/2 inch long and 1 1/2 inches wide. It's fucking weird.
6π 12π
The act of kicking a student out of the Clinton Hall Day Room for three or more days. One can be tripled by either:
a) throwing a couch pillow at another person.
b) offensive language in front of a dorm authority
c) disobeying the man code
d) irresponsible conduct
e) fighting in the josh-a-dome.
f) spooning/cuddling with eachother
When you're tripled, you lose all access rights to the Day Room and are forced to live on your own during your free blocks/periods during school elsewhere.
When Tony and Gavin were spooning, Lois came down and tripled their asses and they were forced to live in Freeman Hall.
1π 34π
Most of these people are fucking pussies. Although I am an American, I stand firm on that opinion. Most of the little shit American tourists go around in other nations, mostly Europe, doing any, if not all of the following:
a) Wearing a Canadian flag on their backpack/shirts
b) Pretending they're used to driving on the left
c) Watching a soccer (football) match and pretending they know what the fuck is going on and/or acting like they give a shit about what is happening on the field
d) Trying to use an English accent, but doing an Austrailian one instead. Dumb asses.
e) They're too busy thinking they'll be deemed an asshole or some bull shit like that instead of not giving a fuck and enjoying their vacation.
f) Say "mate" "wanker" "lad" "chap"
g) Pretend like they know what the difference is between Tony Blair and the Queen.
I personally have nothing against European views on anything above.
Who turned the tide in WWII? America. Where did most every day life inventions come from? Americans. Where was Lance Armstrong, one of the greatest motivational men in history, come from? America. Who first landed on the moon? An American. What kind of tourists are the biggest pussies? Americans.
American tourists piss me off. When I go to Europe, I wear shirts that say "C-O-L-O-R" with pride.
55π 57π
The faggot call is when a group of people all chant "faggot" to one person. The faggot call is used when the person either says something stupid or does an ass hole move. To do the faggot call, put your arm straight out in front of you as if to shake a person's hand. Then slowly move your lower arm back towards you so your hand is touching your shoulder. Repeat as many times as necessary.
When Rinaldi called Gavin a retard, he was issued the faggot call.
19π 27π
To put out your middle and index finger out and shove them up some one's ass.
Today Tim oil checked Mike so hard he started to bleed out of his ass.
69π 48π
Cousin of the faggot call, the retard call is when some one makes a stupid move or comment. Then everyone in the room stops what they're doing, puts their arms straight out and moves the lower half back towards themself so their thumb touches the shoulder and moves it back straight out, chanting Retard.
When Rinaldi thought that PMS was a disease, he was given the retard call by Tim, Gavin, and Dan.
6π 10π