vagina

1) A hole that guys wish they could stay in forever.

2) Something guys want that can cost a lot of money.

3) A guys favorite play toy.

I lost my vagina. Can I borrow yours?

842👍 342👎

death penalty

1) The only time you get to take a ride in Ol' Sparky on the states dime.

2) An easy way out of life for a criminal.

1) A murderer loves the death penalty, while the victims' family grieves over their loss the killer gets a peaceful free ticket out of life.

2) Family says, "Burn in hell murderer". Murderer say, "Ha Ha suckers you have to live your entire life with the pain and I get to rest in peace." Family say, "Damn, we got screwed"

3) The fetus was sentenced to the death penalty when it's mother aborted it.

58👍 76👎

marriage

1) Something that can be both heaven and hell.

2) The end of hourly or daily sex.

3) Most extreme form of torture to a guy who constantly gets laid.

4) The end of life and fun.

1) Husband, "Honey, can we have sex". Wife, "Should have thought of that before we got married, No".

2) I gave up my days of having a new woman every day for the never ending hell of having the same one forever.

3) Kids, just say no to marriage.

128👍 87👎

taxes

The other thing guaranteed in life besides death.

Death and taxes are two things you can not escape in this world. Believe me, I tried to escape both and now I am screwed.

324👍 74👎