dial his own number

The act of anal masturbation with one's own finger, thumb or fingers. Can be a male or female.

Frankie Bones loves himself so much, he is known to dial his own number while driving.

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Air-wank

The gesture of masturbating in the air, invariably male in orientation, and usually expressing a lack of impression or excitement. Often shown with asterisks bracketing indicating action, like so:

*air-wank*

Not to be confused with *air-rub*.

A: I'll bet you five bucks you can't get a date with that fat chick over there.

B: *air-wank* Are you kidding me? I've got a whole cooler full of Ben & Jerry's in the car when the truffles in my pocket run out.

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