Random
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Random
Calling in sick to work for a gay reason.
>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".
A scientific theory which explains that regularly eating butter, even a small pat, will eventually turn you into a fat butterball.
At the 10 year High School Reunion.....
Gerard: Hey check out Sylvia, she's a total hefer! She used to be hot, what happened?
Chuck: Dude, It's called the Butterball Effect, all those empty fat calories have wreaked their damnable havoc on her once fine physique.
Gerard: Say what now?
An ungodly brick of pink popcorn that is case hardened and sold to the unknowing masses at the circus, carnival, fair, etc.
When I was a kid I used to love circus popcorn, but now it tastes like shit on a stick!
The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.
Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
Disposable Visa gift cards used for the sole purpose of buying porn on the internet and not having Cornhole.com show up on your credit card statement.
<< Hey dude, you accidentally threw away your credit card.
>> Don't sweat it bro, that's just some used up MILF money!
An act of sexual mischief. Up to no good in a naughty fashion.
"I thought Marcus was me best mate, but he was up to all manner of ballcockery with me wife."
"Methinks Ted and Alice are engaged in acts of wanton ballcockery."
"Wouldst thou join me in a bit of ballcockery, love?"
A card player who has amassed a large collection of, mostly red poker chips. Since reds are the lowest valued chip, it makes you look like you have a lot of money when you really don't.
"Another massive three dollar pot taken down by Johnny Redchips!"
"Can anybody break a five? Johnny Redchips is cashing out."
"You see my dollar and raise me a quarter? Why, that's too rich for my blood, Johnny Redchips!"