musicology

The study of the history of music, but having no relationship to music itself. It is usually studied at the graduate level by inept performers and anal-retentive, sexually-repressed, multi-lingual, shutins. It is an equivalent discipline to Art History, except for the fact that you will never see a musicology show on PBS, nor will you ever see a musicologist interviewed on television. Musicology is the study of boring, obscure facts tangentially related to the lives and works of (mostly unknown) composers in the Western European high-cultural tradition.

1. Music is to musicology as science is to Scientology.

2. Musicology Ph.D. student: "Did you know that Joseph Matthias Kracher was on friendly terms with Michael Haydn?"
Intelligent Human: "Big fucking deal! Who cares?"
Musicology Ph.D. student: "Well, Kracher wrote two settings of the 'Te Deum.' What have you done to contribute to the advancement of Western Civilization?"
Intelligent Human (grabbing student's throat and choking him to death): "This!"
Musicology Ph.D. student: "Gakkkkqq!!!"

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