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Matta

Unit measuring the tightness of a vagina. The matta is a torque rating based on Newtons per metre squared of pressure uniformly exerted on any object being pushed between the labia.

Tightness ranges between -5 and +10, with 0 having been normalised by the authors at 0 for most girls. -5 is frankly paedophillic and anything +5 is reserved for anything that has given birth and torn their organs open.

The optimum tightness is approximately -2 Mattas.

"yeah bruv, she was so tight, I swear down she was -2 mattas or some shit. I was splurting in like 20 seconds"

"You'll get over it mate, plenty more fish in the sea. I know she was tighter than a jew but you have to put mind over Matta"

"Ciao Luigi..... What's the Matta?!"
"Why it is 3 units of Matta Professor Rossi."

by Muzal May 6, 2007

89👍 88👎