New Gretna

A town in New Jersey that you drive through to get to the mall. That's all that New Gretna will ever be good for. That and their shitty bonfires, cheap gas, and ghetto convenience stores that'll sell you dip. It's also home to a large Viking Yachts factory, which is that place where you get backed up for an hour on route 9 from all of the employees pulling out of the parking lot. Oh, there's also that big white wine bottle on the side of the road, if that counts for anything.

It's also known as "Bass River", and if you don't drive a shitty pickup truck, don't even dare turning off Route 9, or else you will be pulled over by Pineys, get all your teeth knocked out, and be forced to interbreed with your family, and be forced to live in a hell hole called "Offshore Manor", which is closer to being in Mystic than New Gretna.

Every single person in New Gretna smokes weed, so if you don't, be sure to roll up your windows to avoid being hit with a whiff of pot smoke that's permanently trapped in the ozone layer over the town.

Driver:Look at all these cars backed up! New Gretna must be a happening town-oh wait, they're just leaving viking yachts.

Hick with a Confederate flag shirt:I'm not a racist, im just supporting my fellow civil war heroes.

Disgusting Girl:I get trashed in the woods every day, just keepin' it classy.

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