Old Man Gap Year

The time off between your last day of work and your first day of retirement, typically spent drinking, golfing, fishing, or drinking. Usually occurs when you’re not quite ready to retire, but you can’t stand your fucking job for another second.

I saw Fred at the golf course again yesterday. Did he retire or is he just on his “Old Man Gap Year”?

The Wine Chair

The chair in your house that you're allowed to drink and fall asleep (pass out) in. It is typically old, worn, and stained with previous food, beer, wine spills, etc. Its purpose is to serve as a highchair for adults who may enjoy having a few cocktails and falling asleep during their favorite ball games or movies.

"I passed out and spilled an entire glass of red wine on myself last night. Good thing I was in the wine chair, or my wife would have killed me."

The Wine Chair

The chair in your home that you’re allowed to drink and fall asleep (pass out) in. It’s not meant to be decorative and is typically old, worn, and stained from previous food, beer, wine spills etc.. It’s like an adult highchair for those who may enjoy having a few cocktails and falling asleep watching their favorite ball games or movies.

“I passed out and spilled an entire glass of red wine on myself last night. Good thing I was in the wine chair, or my wife would have killed me.”

Karents

Term used to describe the point when your parents become so feeble and incapable they transform into an older version of your kids.

My Karents are driving me crazy! These people that somehow raised me now can’t seem to do anything for themselves.

Flex Shit

That sticky poop that seals itself to the back of the toilet and no matter how many times you flush it... it won’t go away. It is the Flex Seal of feces.

“Dude, I just took this nasty “Flex Shit” that just won’t go away. I swear it could be used to seal Phil Swift’s glass boat.”

5👍 1👎

Boogermite

A crunchy, stalagmite like booger that sticks to the roof of your nose and hurts when you press your nostril.

I was on a date last night, and halfway through dinner, I realized I had a boogermite. It was driving me crazy, so as soon as she went to the bathroom... I excavated it.

Plog

A plogged toilet mostly consist of crap and very little paper. Usually occurs when a massive poop is sufficient enough to cause a clog without the support of any toilet paper.

Dude, I took such a massive shit it "plogged" the toilet.

8👍 3👎